


Originalshipping the Movie Half Time Special Learning Emporium Hour

by Cthuwu



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Citrusy Park Mall carousel, Crack, I guess???, Leaf shows up for like one second, Love Confession, M/M, Red and Blue are dumb gays, Red communicates in morse code, also pissing?????, but not in a kinky way, family restroom time, literally just crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:41:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23112646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cthuwu/pseuds/Cthuwu
Summary: Red and Blue do some things at the Citrusy Park Mall.
Relationships: Ookido Green | Blue Oak/Red
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Originalshipping the Movie Half Time Special Learning Emporium Hour

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack fic I wrote with my girlfriend. She wrote all of Blue's parts and I wrote Red's. It's fucking wack really.
> 
> Also there may be a sequel ahaha.

“Hey Red1!!1!1 Do you wanna go ride the merry go round at Citrusy Park Mall?” Blue said in his very best Sonic the Hedgehog™ impression.

"……………………………………" Red grunted in morse code. He really didn't fucking want to. Why the fuck would he want to go to the fucking Citrusy Park Mall? It was dumb. Just like Blue. And since Blue was stupid dumb he thought Red's aggressive morse code beeping meant 'Yes I would love to Blue.' 

“Okay bro!” Still speaking in his awful Sonic™ impression knowing full well that Red hates it when he does it. He grabs his Booberu Halloween cereal and Red’s hand and he trots to the 2009 Porsche.

The car went nyoom all the way down to the dumbass mall that Blue likes to go to. Like he goes there at least 30 times a week. Red slammed his head repeatedly against the dashboard of the car as they drove, dreading the whole ride. Why was his best friend like this? To think he loved him.

“Hey Reddy’ mind if I play some music?!” Blue said in a pound dumb tone still doing the stupid Sonic™ impression.

“......” 

Blue being the absolute dumbass he is, took that as a yes. Blue took out a shady looking disc labeled “love mixtape” on it and jammed that thing into the DVD player. Needless to say it was horrendous, it was just Blue's normal voice over some drum sample saying how he likes the color red or some dumb shit.

Red wanted to jump out of the car. He couldn't take this anymore. It was a fucking nightmare being in here with Blue. Especially since Blue was a terrible driver. He constantly feared for his life. Perhaps today, though, death wouldn't be so bad. Anything to get Blue to shut his fucking mouth. It was days like these where he wishes he didn't come down from Mt. Silver. His thoughts came to a halt when he felt the car park and the engine shut off.

“Alrighty then we have arrived my sweet amazing godly prince of Kanto.” Blue said finally using his dumb regular voice. He grabbed Red's hand and walked him all the way over to the carousel. “Well I’ve been waiting all year for this” Blue said even though he went on that dumb thing every single fucking day there is on Arceus’ green earth.

"..... ……. ……." Red groaned in a frustrated morse code sound. He let Blue drag him through the mall because honestly what else was he going to do? Plus he kind of liked having Blue hold his hand uwu. It felt so soft…. And warm…. And…. Ow! His grip just tightened. Fucking bitch. His hand fucking hurt now. Angry emoji.

Unlike his usual dumbass self Blue noticed reds less than happy expression, and softened his grip. “Well we're ready for the carousel I call the Blastoise one!” Blue perked up as if he was a youngster.

Red picked the Charizard one like the fucking Charizard lover he is. Stupid man loves stupid flying lizard. Not even a dragon. Smh my head. They went around the merry go around once, the twice, the ten times, then twenty. Red was tired. What time was it? Shouldn't the mall be closed? What year was it even? He looked over at Blue, who had this dumb fucking smile on his stupid cute face. It was like he was still riding the thing for the first time today. Wow. Loser.

“Hey Red wouldn’t it be stupid if we kissed right now” Blue said like a fucking dumbass bitchass simp. Both fully meaning it and not at all meaning it. 

Red glared at him. Oh yeah it would be very stupid. Super stupid. Ultra stupid. As stupid as Team fucking Rocket trying to take over the world with gangs of Rattata and Zubats. As stupid as the Generation 6 games.

"..... ……. ……." Red beeped, his glare not moving from Blue. His very best, always there for him, super supportive, ultra mega best best best friend was a fucking dumbass.

“Haha Red bro it’s just a joke” Blue said hastily trying to cover up his dumb ass unfunny ass “joke”. “Unless you want to, then we can” the fact that this lad is this stupid and somehow got eight gym badges is unbelievable.

Red contemplated for a little bit. Does he want to kiss his best friend???????? I mean???? Does he ????? Is he homo??????? Big homo????? Red doesn't know. He only just thinks about Blue all day everyday, and dreams of going on dates with him…. And holding his hand…. And cuddling in him in his sleep….. Also he does share a bed with Blue. Is that gay????? Is he gay????? Red looked over at Blue, the fucking dumbass bitchass motherfucker. 

"........ …….. ……." He beeped out. It roughly translated to 'I'll kiss you if you want me to.'

“Woah Reddy you really want to as a joke!” Blue literally did not know what the fuck Red was saying but he took it ass a yes and kissed red on the cheek. Surprisingly he wasn’t fucking wrong for once. What a mother fucking miracle this dumb little gay fuck was correct.

Red blushed and his face went super red. Haha. Now he lives up to his name. Dumb fuck. Red did some small mumbles in morse code. Wow, Blue kissed him. Wowza. That was great. Oh,but he should kiss him too, right? And not just sit there like a dumb fuck. Wow Red. You fucking bitch. You just got kissed and you didn't even kiss him back. You useless gay. Kiss him back, you home of sexual. Red leaned in and lightly kissed Blue on his forehead. 

“Haha damn bro!💖👌👌👌😂😂😂” Blue was having a stroke. Like how the fuck does Red even tolerate his dumb fucking language and ideas. Like Red couldn’t possibly like him for shit like this. The fact that Red went all the way to Citrusy Park Mall and rose the dumb ass carousel is nothing short of bonkers. Like damn I must say these bitchez R gay.

"Damn," Leaf said from her undercover hiding spot in the kids playground, "these bitches gay! Good for them! Good for them."

Red was malfunctioning. He really did kiss his BEST friend. Wow. What a homo move. Well it doesn't matter, because Red likes Blue in a gay way.he is big homo for him. And, tho he was so fucking tired of Blue going to Citrusy Park Mall EVERY FUCKING DAY MORE THAN ONCE, he could probably tolerate being in a relationship with him. I mean, they did already live together. For like 10 years they have been. 

"......... ………. …….." Red beeped, looking at Blue with confidence. His beeping roughly translated to 'Would you like to engage in a homosexual romantic relationship with me?'

“Shit fuck oh god fuck dkdkdksjsjshsjsjj💖💖🖤💖💖💖” Blue was having a stroke for the fifth time in this two second time period. Blue just took the leap of faith to Red’s microwave like beeps and said “yeah Ofcourse I love you” Blue finally understood what the FUCK Red was saying. Which is honestly a complete one eighty from whatever happened before. Like how the fuck do you live with another man for 10 years alone with you're fire lizard and buff turtle thing on not he atleast dating. “But no homo dude” Blue said trying to hold on to being to cocky little bastard we all know and love.

Red nodded, giving a small smile of his own. Uh huh, yeah no homo. He knew Blue didn't mean it because he was, well, Blue. But sure whatever. Since he was sure that Blue was now capable of understanding him, he tried communicating something else that has been on his mind, "......... …….. …….." Beeped Red. 'Can we finally fucking leave I hate this mall stop coming here please oh my god.'

“We can leave later, we need to celebrate by going to the family restroom!” Blue literally just said this just to piss Red off. But seriously what the fuck would they even do there. “Also why don’t you just speak ever god dammit, all you’re doing is making my life harder.” Blue literally could’ve probably brought this up years ago but now that they’re together it felt right. Blue had thought that maybe since they are in a relationship Red could open up about it. Ever since Blue could remember Red was silent as a mouse.

Red shrugged. Just shrugged. That's it. That's all the bitch did. He then pointed over to the family restroom, indicating that they should just get to going over there. He still didn't know why. Is this some gay ritual? Family restroom time?

“Damn good eye Red” Blue took his lovers hand and ran at the speed of light to the family restroom. But a real family was there so he kicked them all out. And proceeded to lock the door. “So Reddy are ya’ in the mood”

Red gave him a confused look? The fuck was he supposed tobe in the mood for? Clogging the toilet with bath bombs? He'd have to get bath bombs for that. And fast running skills. He didn't want to be arrested for destruction of property or some shit like that.

“No dumbass I’m broke” blue literally has the most annoying voice possible on god's green earth. “I was wondering if you wanted to see me pee.” Blue instantly took off his pants and sat on the toilet. Needless to say Red was mortified.

What the fuck kinda kinky ass shit is this? What the fuck? Ok sure he had walked in on Blue multiple times (accidentally) pissing at their shared house,but this was a fucking different level. Well he didn't even have time to answer because Blue started pissing. Red covered his face with his hat, silently dying.

“It’s not a kink or anything I just had to take a piss.” Blue was literally the least kinky person in the world. Like how would you be kinky he dressed the way he did “anyways I’ll meet you outside” Blue turned around trying to look like one of those hot movie stars on tv.

Red let out a groan. Sure, Blue, sure. He followed Blue out and they FINALLY after 16 HOURS went back to the 2009 Porsche and zoom zoom beep beep all the way home. Wow, what a long day. Nice to finally be home. They entered their shared house, which was looking as nice as always. Ah yes, scorch marks on the wall and 1 inch of water. Wait, what the fuck? Ah shit, did they leave Charizard and Blastoise out of their pokeballs? Fuck. Shit. Hell.

Did they leave their precious Pokémon out of their balls? Did Blue convince Red that he doesn’t have a piss fetish?. Find out on the next episode!


End file.
